Morgana Needs a Confidant
by alixxblack
Summary: Morgana suspects that she was born with magic. She confronts her closest friends and family in an attempt to find consolation on the matter. When person after person tries to convince her that she's completely mad Merlin shows up late in the night and gives Morgana the reprieve she was looking for... an then some! (Rated T for suggestive content and very mild sexual behavior)


Disclaimer: I don't claim to own the characters from this show, Merlin, because that's illegal. But I am going to alter their image in my window pane and tell you a tale filled with fluff and general greatness... Or so I hope, anyway. I best let you be the judge of that.

A/N: our internet is down at work today and we can't work without the internet so here's and imperfectly perfect ticket I tussled together for our reading pleasure

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><p>Merlin showed up in Arthur's room but instead of finding the royal prat splayed half awake in his bed as he usually would be he found Guinevere tucking the sheets back in place and fluffing pillows.<p>

"Where is Arthur?" Merlin questioned, pulling curtains back and peering behind corners and under tables. He heard the other servant laugh lightheartedly before coming up behind him and placing a hand on his forearm.

"Morgana woke from her nightmares in a panic last night. Arthur has taken her company this morning so as to calm her down. Arthur said you're relieved of your duties for the day. He was to go hunting this afternoon and _everyone_ knows how much you contribute to the happy activity." Guinevere was infectiously pleasant and without any hesitation Merlin's lips curled in a perfect smile as hers did always. He sat down the full breakfast he'd brought for Arthur and peered out the window curiously. He didn't get time off very often.

"For once it seems my clumsiness has been a blessing rather than a curse. Although grateful as I am, I'm afraid I haven't got a clue what to do now." Merlin admitted to his friend. Today she wore and out of character dress, it was a deeper red shade almost as if it were new. And her hair was worn long rather than in a plait or pinned away. Merlin remembered suddenly that it was her birthday in a few days and that she must haven even excited because she was going away to visit some old friends.

"Well you could ask me on a walk. It only seems proper since I tidied up Arthur's room for you. I also won't tell a soul that you ate his breakfast either." Gwen stepped away from Merlin and opened the curtains to the window completely before pushing the glass outward. A fresh spring breeze whooshed in and ruffled Merlin's already messy hair. He sat down to the table and started picking away at items he would eat.

"Guess it does seem proper, doesn't it? I should probably get my nice trousers on, though, since I'll be taking my best friend on an outing in the lower city." Merlin joked. Guinevere was sincerely laughing in a way Merlin did not hear nearly enough. She was so usually uptight and masked, a role shed mastered when she became Morgana's servant so long ago.

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><p>Arthur jostled Morgana from her nightmare in the earliest hours of the morning. She'd been shouting his name which got the attention of a guard. He went to her room immediately and has been keeping her company since. After he was able to get her back to sleep he crawled out of her bed and nestled himself onto a settee near the window. As soon as the run rose he summoned breakfast and let Guinevere know she would not be needed for the day. He told her to please let Merlin know he was also free for his responsibilities.<p>

Now he dined with Morgana as she recounted the dream. She said there was a dragon who spoke ill of Uther and claimed he would get his revenge. What frightened her most was that Arthur was dying in the flames of the angry dragon why he tried to save his father. Immediately when she was done explaining her fears Arthur assured her that the only dragon left alive was sequestered away and could never break free to attack Camelot. She apparently was not so sure.

"Come, Morgana, you've nothing to worry about. You'll be just as safe as you always have been. No dragons roam free anymore, so your nightmares are only that - nightmares." Arthur's offered a dose of what he knew to be reality. There was nothing more reliable than the world they lived and the moments they experienced. Nothing was truer and nothing could be altered when living in the present.

"I cannot be so sure..." She whispered harshly. Something in her her face alerted the prince that she was hiding something. The prince straightened himself in his chair.

As for Moraga, she prepared herself for the possibility of being imprisoned. What she was about to tell Arthur was incredibly sensitive. She worried how he would react but she felt that he more than anyone could advise her how to cope.

"What makes you say that?" Arthur grumbled at her, acutely aware that she was about to drop a heavy weight upon his shoulders. She wrung her hands in and out of one another as she pined through the words to make the statement as plainly as possible.

"The gift of foresight is a form if magic, and it usually comes to sorcerers in the form of dreams." Morgana spoke clear as the sky just beyond her sheltered, stone quarters. However, her voice was low and defiant. Arthur either heard her and feared her observation or he didn't hear a thing and was waiting for her to repeat herself.

She waited several very long moments before Arthur countered her, obviously turned out by his irritation of the silence; "Where did you acquire such knowledge, Morgana?"

She hesitated. If she were honest, when shed gone to personally fetch a brand new sleeping draft from Gauis she had seen a book open about a special form of magic. The individual gifted with foresight was called a Seer. Morgana feared that she was such but not because she had the power, but because she knew she was endangered by having it under Uther's reign.

A quick biting of her lip reminded her to lie, "I was doing a bit if light reading in the library. I happened across a fable on about a young Druid Seer."

Arthur started chewing very slowly as he forced himself to look up at the ward. Morgana knew what she was suggesting to him. She always wondered if Arthur was different than his father. Now was the time where she would find out if he could be a revered king or a dreaded one.

"You've always had an imagination, Morgana. Always finding ailments which do not apply to you." Arthur spoke decisively and with poise. There was a message he tried to convey to her, a message that screamed for her to forget whatever allegations she was making about herself.

The king's ward stood upon her feet bravely, although her mind was full of weak defiance. Part if her wanted to forget what she'd pieced together. It affected her life significantly if there was even the faintest possibility. It could bring her to her death: and execution by Uther, no less!

"I am being quite serious, Arthur Pendragon. I fear that I have magic." Morgana growled at the young man sharing her table. His eyes glimmered with sadness as his featured sunk into that of a king. Into that of king destined to be much like his wicked father.

"I fear that your sleep depraved mind has made you speak out of turn. I am a knight of Camelot and the Crowned Prince. I am lawfully bound to reporting the use to magic. If your self-accusation is to have any merit you best keep your powers hidden and dormant. Is this clear, Morgana le Fay?" Arthur had never been so frightening. Morgana trembled with furrowed brows as he prince pointed at her, aggression apparent in his features. She frowned before she complied.

A courtesy found its rhythm in her body. When she stood upright against Arthur pulled her into a hug and kissed her hair gently. "Magic is forbidden and since I cannot fight the law of the land I hope that you've only spoken irrationally. Let us not speak of this again."

"Agreed." She said through gritted teeth. Soon after she sent Arthur on his way for the fuses to be fetched. While out Gwen happened to pass by, and even joined Morgana as she sat on the bed.

"What troubles you m'lady? Has Arthur said something cruel?" Guinevere questioned.

"Nothing out of character, as you would imagine. But, honestly Gwen, I'm just tired. Why have you come? Arthur and I told you to take a day for yourself." Morgana always considerate of Gwen's status as an equal. One that wasn't legally provided to her so much as an unspoken acknowledgment between the pair.

Gwen assured Morgana that she was to spend the day with Merlin. They chatted about how the pair would get away from the castle so that Arthur couldn't change his mind, and how ornery the Crowned Prince could manage to be at time. After a good laugh Morgana wishes her maiden well and watched the entrance to ensure she did escape for an earned day off.

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><p>Gauis watched as Arthur mumbled about having let his servant take time off without properly considering the consequences. Merlin had been in and out quicker than he could blink. He mentioned that he worried the prince would change his mind. Merlin ha called it correctly, too, because that was exactly why Arthur had come to the physician's chambers. He'd been searching for Merlin to prepare his horse and hunting gear. Gauis told him that Merlin had gone out with Gwen for the day and even packed a picnic basket. Jealousy ultimately forced the prince away. He always got a chuckle over the drama of young love.<p>

His somehow still nimble fingers jumped in and out and around his belongings as he prepared potions for various reasons. Remedies, experiments, pain management; any number of medical and educational purposes behind the entire process. Some were orders made by nobility. Gauis rarely questioned the motive behind such requests because, like all others, had just pay taxes to the king and buy his own food. The more money he mustered the easier it was to feed the extra mouth.

Just as he finished off the orders to be delivered the following day, a knock at his door caught his attention. He'd never closed it after Arthur took off so he turned quickly to see whom had walked so far out of their way.

"Morgana, my child, what brings you this at from your chambers? Merlin said you'd confined yourself to your room. The draft hasn't been helping, he said." Gauis welcomed the young lady in with a wave of the arm. She closed and locked the door behind her. Gauis tensed but did not waiver in his kindness at all.

"Gauis, I had a question for you. It's of a very sensitive nature and I wanted your personal opinion." Morgana stated sheepishly. She watched Gaius cock an eyebrow straight up at her I question, but he welcomed her to sit nonetheless. The ward figured her attempt to draw information would be a long shot, but she to confide in someone who would truly listen.

She explained the nightmare first. Vivid words and recollections left Gaius with his jaw agape. Comfort came soon after, the reminder that he's always under watchful eyes. Morgana knew this, she explained how well she knew Arthur's loyal guards. However, she said too often how her nightmares came to be reality.

"It feels like I am seeing these dark futures and cannot shut it off. I fear that I have magic, like I must have been born with it." Morgana whined childishly. She wanted desperately to be told by Gaius hat her concern was legitimate, at the very least, if not entirely true. She did not know her parents secrets and there was no way that Uther could either.

"My child, you cannot have been born with magic." Gaius stresse the word 'cannot' in hopes that Morgana would get the hint. E was not telling the girl she was not born with magic, but that she couldn't be in Camelot if she had been. He had speculated with Merlin recently on the matter, they both agreed her safety would be at risk if she knew. Only, now, he feared that her not knowing would cause even greater damage. Still, he continued the facade that he knew nothing of the sort, "Being born with magic is a fable and nothing more. Druids are as close as we come. And you, Morgana, are not of Druid blood."

To hold back her sobs was extremely difficult. Gaius had been researching this very information. It had been in that exact room that Morgana found the information. It was an insult for Gaius to not have entrusted her enough with the information to tell her that he suspected it. She lifted herself with as much poise as she could muster before hugging the physician.

"I'm sorry to have to troubles you, Gaius. I know you've put up with me for far too long." Morgana lamented as though she were comforted by his words. She was not but she did play it well. His smile was sincere as was his farewell.

"Don't worry, Morgana. You are like a daughter to me, just as you are to Uther. I only want to ensure you are your best. I will research a strong draft to help you sleep better, my dear girl. I shall send Merlin around with it after dinner." Gaius walked the young lady to the door with concern dancing on the edge of his brows. He wanted more than anything to tell Morgana her concern was legitimate but he knew the risk it posed. He would rather her be safe than frightened of the man meant to be her father figure.

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><p>Morgana had thought long and hard about her concerns about her own magic, the magic she may or may not have . Uther had just executed a sorcerer last week and had made an address about magic only a day ago. She figured she would touch on the topic while they dined together to see if he could be trusted with her worries. It was a long shot, by Gaius himself had said that Uther loved her as if she were his own. Perhaps she could confide him against all she knew about him.<p>

And she kept this all in mind when she placed herself next to Uther.

"Morgana? Dare I ask what plagues your mind, child?" Uther questioned, a look planted on his face that did not read 'concerned.' Morgana almost abandoned her plan, but approach Uther regardless of the change of heart. She was becoming desperate for someone to understand what she'd been so worried about all day.

"I've been having nightmares about the boy you executed. He was no older than I, and yet he was so well versed in magic. I've been wondering if he was born with it." Morgana admitted aloud. The king wouldn't have listened so calmly as he did with the ward, but she did hold a spot in his heart unlike any other. Arthur often asked her about f and suggested she was Uther's favorite.

However, the acceptance was short-loved. He soon grunted and shook his head, "Being born with magic is impossible."

Morgana scoffed and sat her silverware down. This captured the King's attention instantly. He followed suit and leaned back in his chair, his signature move when he felt disrespected or irritated. Her attitude had done exactly what she hoped she would not fall victim to: full attention from Uther Pendragon.

"You are so closed off to magic that you don't consider that the youth have no choice. Some of them know nothing else because they were never told the laws of Camelot. It just breaks my heart to see a young man punished for a magic trick on a road show." Morgana had argued Uther's laws before so this was not new to him, and she was glad for it. This meant he would not immediately assume that she was doing anything significantly out of character. Morgana tilted her chin up slightly so as to stand her ground.

"I have seen the damage of magic. I care about the people of Camelot and will not see sorcery run rampant in our lands. If I loosen my grip even once then magic users will plot to overthrow me. Matters as diplomatic and severe as this require a firm hand. I am surprised that your advanced age to Arthur has not permitted you to see this after all these years." Uther relaxed a little and did as he always would. He tried to disappoint his ward through guilt. If he made he feel uneducated and incapable of diplomacy then he can continually tell nobles that she was unfit to understand. Morgana may have been one of the most desired women amongst royals in the five kingdoms, but many thought that she was a free spirit needing tamed. She often turned down the requests for engagement because she felt that all who tried to woo her were just trying to 'break' her in as they would a wild stallion. Morgana likened these people to Uther who often banished her to her chambers when she challenged him like this.

She frowned and pushed her tray away from her. With crossed arms she moved to the edge of her seat and stared the kind down.

"But I fear you've missed my point, my lord. I worry about the fact that some of these children are born with the ability to do magic. You can't punish me for breathing, so why should you be able to punish someone born with magic? If they have no choice what sense does it make to execute them?" Morgana's voice became passionate and high pitched as she asked a question she'd honestly always wondered about. It was an incredibly one-sided process without trial. Morgana knew she could never rule people with that mindset. Unfortunately, she knew Uther was less abstract in his thinking. He made these ways and he would not change them.

"That is not possible, Morgana. Magic is not a trait someone is born with, and even if it were something obtained through birth it would be no less evil. A curse, most likely! I will not let those sorts of people plague our lands!" The King's voice boomed as Morgana had clearly struck a sensitive point. It likely was a point that he'd been badgered about before, possibly by his own son. Morgana stood up at the table with tears about to flood form her eyes. She bad the King farewell without an apology and stormed to her chambers without a second thought.

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><p>Gwen had just dropped Merlin off at the corridors that lead to Gaius' chambers. He had offered to leave her at her cottage but she refused. Even though the maiden had the day off from her duties to Morgana, she felt obligated to check on her one last time. They were, above all else, friends, after all.<p>

When Gwen arrived she found Morgana struggling to untie back of her gown. Immediately the servant could see that her tugging and yanking on it had pulled the bow into a tight knot that required a more skillful hand. She closed the door loudly and joined Morgana near the dressing screen.

"Oh, Gwen, you needn't come for me. I would have managed on my own." Morgana proclaimed. Gwen shook her head in protest at which Morgana quickly submitted. It wasn't false, of course. Morgana most certainly could have managed on her own. She had lived in the castle for a few years before Uther awarded her to right to have a servant. However, like other nobles, she'd grown used to the assistance and wasn't as deft at some old tasks as she would have liked to believe.

"How was your day, m'lady?" Gwen quickly had the knot untied and the gown falling from her mistress' shoulders. On the windowsill was a different gown fluttering in the soft night breeze. She pulled the garment and walked it over to Morgana who had a deep frown set upon her lips. Gwen wanted to ask but she knew she must wait to see if Morgana was receptive to the topic at that time.

And at first she wasn't. She insisted that her day was alright but hindered by the lack of sleep. After that she questioned where her draft, stating that she'd been to Gaius and that Merlin was to deliver it. Gwen explained how she'd just gotten back with Merlin and that surely he'd be on his way soon. After that Gwen took the dirty clothes in a wicker basket and said she'd bring the fresh garments in the morning.

"Gwen, do you have a moment? I actually have had something plaguing my mind for days. Nobody seems to be quite as understanding as you and I really need to talk about it." Morgana pleaded for the serving girl to stay. She had not gone to Gwen first because she thought Arthur would offer a more reliable guidance. But he was far from useless. As was Gaius. And Uther. She should have just spoken to Gwen to begin with, Morgana was sure she'd made the wrong decisions throughout the day.

She watched as her maid returned to her side and sat at the chair opposite of her, "Of course. Anything you need, Morgana."

As Morgana had done with everyone else during the day, she broached the concern of sorcerers begin wrongly executed. Gwen agreed to a degree that magic should be judged on the situation it was used in, because she also found it difficult to believe all magic was evil. But she had been accused of magic and watched her father executed in accusation of it.

Then, when she was absolutely sure that Gwen would take her seriously, she delved into the real topic she wished to discuss. They had just agreed that under no circumstance should a child be executed for the use of magic, when it would hardly be their fault.

"These children might have been born with magic." Morgana stated breathlessly.

"Where did you get that idea? That doesn't seem very possible, does it?" Gwen asked with alarm. She must not have thought of that probability herself. The servant also must have not considered Morgana the type to revel the deeply into the topic of a forbidden practice.

"I did some research. I was trying to find out more about nightmares. There was a story about sorcerers born with certain kinds of magic." The King's ward grew nervous as soon as she had spoken. Gwen was hardly as relaxed as Morgana may have thought moments ago. She worried about her timing and whether anyone she knew could be trusted with her concern.

"Oh, Morgana, you've not had enough rest the last few weeks. You are hardly in any state to do any research. It's easy to misinterpret when you've not rested properly." Gwen concluded pleasantly. She was far more intelligent that her peers credited her. This was one of the few things that Morgana and Arthur could both agree on…

Morgana didn't even bother speaking afterwards, she just ushered her serving girl to the door and thanked her for the assistance. Gwen apologized for speaking out of term but Morgana assured her it was no trouble. She even made herself agree that she was very quite exhausted. They parted ways, but only after Gwen insisted on checking on the draft that was to be delivered.

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><p>Gwen dropped the laundry off first since it was hardly out of the way at all. When she got back on course she had run into Arthur who grabbed her by the arm and pointed at her crossly. It wasn't a thing to do with her, though.<p>

"Where's Merlin?" He demanded. Gwen had planted her hand on her hip and mocked the Crowned Prince in spite of her usually professional behavior.

"Sorry, Guinevere," Arthur corrected himself and dropped his hands at his side. Unable to sit still and focus, though, he quickly replaced his arms in a cross over his chest, "But seriously, where is Merlin?" His tone was friendlier the second time around. Gwen lightened up and shrugged her shoulders.

"You can call me Gwen, it's quite alright, sire. As for Merlin, he is supposed to be delivering a stronger draft to Morgana. I have no idea whether he's gone off to do that or not. We already parted ways for the evening." Gwen told Arthur exactly what he wanted to hear. And some of it he didn't.

"I won't call _you_ 'Gwen' until you call me '_Arthur_.' I know you can do it. Morgana tells me all the time that you call me 'Arthur' when you're speaking to her. Surely it won't kill you to show me the same courtesy." The pair of them had a strange bit of tension between them at times. There was this unofficial romance between them. Gwen could see clearly that Arthur had more than just a few feelings toward her and she obviously knew she liked him a fair bit. However, it was not an option because he was the Crowned Prince and she was just a servant.

"Yet I won't be calling you anything else, so I suppose we're stuck now, aren't we?" Arthur stormed off before she could even bid him farewell. Gwen grunted in frustration before she went about her business once more, mentally reminding herself to follow Arthur after she checked Gaius' chambers for Merlin.

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><p>Morgana had climbed up on to her windowsill and sat with her back pressed against the stony wall. Her bed was the enemy and she refused to get into it until she had her draft. She knew Merlin moved at his own pace and was clumsy. Besides, she knew that Arthur could have intercepted him before he could make the delivery. Instead of fretting she just waited patiently as she stared into the dark, night sky.<p>

The entire day had been one mistake after another. Everyone denied the possibility of being born with magic. She was now convinced that she'd just imagined the whole thing. These were nightmares that must have been about stories she'd heard. Clearly everyone thought it was impossible. And she probably should too. Morgana was ready to drop the idea entirely. Even if it were possible there were clearly no allies she could turn to as confidantes.

Just as she huffed the door to her chambers opened. It was Merlin. He had a terrible habit of not knocking but most everyone in the castle was used to it. Not at all caught off guard she forced a grin and jumped down to meet him at the table. He looked worn out and was barely decent. Gaius must not have got him when he arrived because he was wearing a damaged blouse that wasn't even tucked into his trousers. Much of Merlin's chest was exposed. Morgana averted her eyes momentarily.

"Sorry. Gaius came in while I was changing, told me I had to leave that instant." Merlin apologized and sat the draft on the table. The ward didn't chuckle as she might have in other circumstances. He paused for a moment and laughed nervously before trying to lighten the air in the room, "I'm hardly as pleasing to look as your knightly admirers, I'm sure."

Morgana's eyes jumped back up to the serving boy, not at all having paid attention to his exposed skin. She shook her heard at him with a weak grin, "Don't you speak that way about yourself, Merlin. There are many different admirable traits among men and women. And I assure you I am not enamored by a man's looks alone."

"I meant no offense, m'lady. I only meant to cheer you up." Merlin was quick to apologize when Morgana raised her voice. He could hardly believe she snapped at him so readily. Although, it confirmed for him that she was having a terrible day. He assumed that Arthur brought her no ease of mind on her nightmares. Gaius had told him the draft he was giving Morgana was meant to hinder one's ability to perform magic. He hoped that it may be a better antidote to Morgana's Seer Nightmares than regular sleep inducing potions.

Morgana stepped closer to Merlin and placed a hand over his, which trembled from the embarrassment. The poor boy must have felt as though he'd done something wrong and would be punished for it. She hardly blamed Merlin since Arthur assigned punishments as easily as he breathed and blinked his eyes. This time she found herself smiling comfortably, "No, it is I who should apologize. I was out of term."

"I would argue with you but I know that would mean nothing to you. Your heart is kinder than Arthur's." The usual tone of conversation between them settled once again. Merlin felt Morgana pull back with a slight hesitation which was strange but he knew that she was affected by the tiredness she surely felt.

"That is hardly an accomplishment, but it is good to hear you think so highly of me. I fear not all see what you see. In fact, I fear nobody sees what I see when I catch my reflection." The confession fell from her lips unexpectedly. Immediately the girl turned back to the servant with a hand covering her mouth. Merlin walked to her with a friendly demeanor and placed his hands on her shoulders boldly.

Morgana wilted under Merlin's touch. It warned her of that he would not deny her his comfort. They stared into one another's eyes, focused. "You're mirror must be broken."

The pair of them laughed very loudly. Morgana bent over as she enjoyed the truly pleasant moment. The only one she'd enjoyed the entire day. Merlin seemed somewhat overjoyed at the moment of relief as well. She couldn't help but sigh after the giggles died down.

"Merlin, you know how to really cheer a girl up. Gwen is very lucky." Morgana admitted softly. As she sauntered back to the table she felt Merlin's eyes glued to her accusingly.

"I'm not dating Gwen." Merlin declared.

"Oh, of course not. That's our secret." Morgana countered. There had been a time when she had noticed the attraction between them. She even pointed it out to him and promised not to tell anyone. Now it seemed only appropriate to tease him over it.

"I assure you that I am not dating Gwen. And even if I was, I have better secrets to keep." Merlin countered defiantly. Morgana understood why Arthur kept him as a servant. He was from a village where everyone was equal. Merlin had never grown up near royals and nobles. He held them no higher than he held himself. That made all conversations and interactions with him genuine. Morgana was jealous that Arthur was blessed with a totally freethinking servant. Gwen was one to behold, she never doubted, but nowhere near as enjoyable as Merlin.

"Oh, then do tell. I'd love to hear what a silly boy as yourself could possible have to hide. I'll be sure to store it away with my own deep, dark secret." Morgana challenged the servant with no hesitation.

"I can't just _give_ my secrets away. How about a trade? Your secret for mine?" Merlin offered.

Morgana couldn't resist the urge to call him out the way she did with everyone she'd ever spoken to, "Stop flirting with me."

Merlin blushed and stepped away but he did not leave. His hands went into his pockets as he waited for her to agree or disagree. Morgana lingered on the thought even though she knew that she would submit. After all, she'd identified herself as 'desperate' earlier in the evening. "Fine, Merlin, I'll bite. A secret for a secret."

There was a pause as his eyes popped from his skull, although not literally. He double checked the door and even went to close the window that Morgana had open. When he returned to her side, closer than he'd dared all evening, Merlin whispered, "You first, m'lady."

Morgana did not intentionally suck in her following breath, but she was taken aback by how charming the serving boy managed to be towards her. It was far more alluring that she'd ever experienced with any knight or royal. For many years she thought it would be a young man such as Arthur who would take her breath away from her, and yet in that moment she found herself faced with the serving boy who sometimes couldn't even walk a straight line.

"This is a trick." Morgana flashed her winning smile. Even if she had wanted to talk to someone about her concerns about being born with magic and being a Seer, the ward had no intentions of giving it away easily. Especially not if she was having so much _fun _with Merlin.

Merlin shook his head; hair brushing his eyebrow as he unconsciously leaned closer to Morgana. He was in no position to continue dancing the line between friendly joking and honestly flirting, but it did not cause him to stop. The young man dared to test his limits, though. He was close enough to smell her perfume, which reminded him of the water lilies that granted travellers a moment of bliss from the mucky air of sodden tress and dying growth. Merlin wondered at the time if that was exactly where she'd found the base of scent.

"Why should I share my secret first?" She questioned, daring him to give her a good enough reason to deny him again. When he smiled at her she almost forgot what they'd even began having a conversation for. When she leaned against the table in an effort to get a better view of the servant her fingers brushed against the bottle he'd come bearing a short while before. When she refocused he responded, _"Because I asked."_

"You did no such thing, Merlin." The voice she used must have sounded as if she were offended when in actuality she was merely surprised. He knew that he had not asked. In fact, he had actually told her to go first. There was not even a questioning element to his voice when he'd said it.

Merlin, though, lied intentionally. He took her hand the way he'd seen Arthur and the knights do so many times before, and guided her down into the chair next to her draft. Again, as he'd watched men do to their lovers and their brides, he knelt down and pressed a nervous kiss against her fingers. His lips lingered against her skin as he posed the question, "Will you go first, m'lady?"

Morgana watched a surprisingly dainty Merlin go from just another bumbling bachelor trying to get her attention to an actual gentleman. There was an aura of ingenuity around him that had existed from the moment he arrived in Camelot. At that moment it was an irresistible pull that attracted Morgana to him.

"It's not much of an actual secret, to be fair." Morgana explained. She was actually impressed with Merlin's demeanor and actual interest in her worries. He'd always cared about those around him and she'd always admired that trait about him. If anyone matched her in the passion she had for saving people form the bad things that happened to them, it was Merlin. He was very clearly a good man with a kind heart, "And if I am totally honest it probably isn't even worth the trade. It's so ridiculous."

"That is _probably_ a lie. But all of this nonsense aside, all the dramatics, I can see that you are clearly troubled by something. I am a good listener if nothing else. I'd have to be good if I listen to Arthur talk day in and day out." When in doubt, Merlin always insulted Arthur. As much as he cared for the Crowned Prince, he was such an arse and sometimes the warlock could not stand it. At times the prince even felt more like a burden than a friend. And even then, friend didn't even seem to quite describe the bond that they had. Either way, Merlin was putting aside the attraction he was feeling towards the King's Ward – who had never captured his focus quite as she did then in the moonlight wearing her golden stitched nightgown.

Morgana propped her chin on her hand and she toyed with the bottle. It was a different mixture than she'd ever seen. Something about it scared her but she felt that she could trust Gaius wholly. Even though he couldn't confide in her she did realize it was out of a need to protect her. When she stopped messing with the bottle she looked over at Merlin who had apparently been waiting for her to glance back so that he could speak.

Merlin's hand was placed on the table deliberately, allowing Morgana to make the decision whether or not she was entrust her concerns with him, "You don't even have to tell me tonight, or tomorrow, or this week, or this month, or this year. But if you have someone you can talk about openly things get a lot easier, believe me."

Morgana did not reach for Merlin's hand. In fact, she withdrew completely back into her seat and just stared at him. Her lips were pursed and her mind was blank save for one thing: how would Merlin react if she did tell him? Would he recoil at her suggestion as everyone else had? Would he turn her into Uther in hopes of a reward? Even though the servant gave her no real reason to fear these things Morgana simply did. Merlin did not seem to see that and took her silence as rejection.

"Good evening, m'lady."

Morgana watched horrified as he got up and lumbered towards her door filled with disappointment and embarrassment. She didn't even know at the time she had turned around in her seat. Her mouth was agape and her body tingled with shame. Whatever doubts she had about Merlin's reaction in her head were shoved away instantly, "Wait!"

Merlin stopped and glanced back at the ward as she cast herself from her chair at her table. Her feet moved quickly even though her dress was long and dragged along the floor. Merlin had caught sight of her toes poking out from underneath, but only for a brief moment. When she was close enough he could physically feel her presence he made himself turn back completely, "Yes, m'lady?"

Morgana stood up on her tippy toes and she barred her teeth as she fought to shout at him. It wasn't even an angry shout that she would have called to him. It would have been another plea to not leave. Merlin caught Morgana's arms casually and helped her keep her balance. At first he remained in place but he quickly got the hint and stepped in closer. In that moment Morgana had decided to simply say it, "Merlin, I think I'm a Seer. I think that I was born with magic."

Merlin heard her voice crack during her second statement. He'd mentioned to Gaius on many occasions that he did not agree with his decision to not let Morgana know the truth. He often said that he wanted to confide in her about his own magic, especially since Lancelot had left. He had nobody else except for Gaius and that was hardly ever as comforting as it would sound. Hearing her in such a state frightened him because it made him really want to take her away from the castle somewhere she could be safe from persecution, somewhere she would be able to learn the abilities her magic would give her. Somewhere he could visit her and enjoy time away from the castle where he could also be open about himself.

But Kilgarrah had warned him that 'the witch cannot be trusted.' He warned Merlin that Morgana would do terrible things in an attempt to take Arthur down. Merlin wanted to trust Morgana with his secret but he had to take heed to the warnings that the dragon gave him. He'd disregarded the warning bout the Druid Boy, Mordred, and if that really did come back to haunt him…

Merlin made himself stop thinking about it and focus on Morgana. Her breath was warm as it hit his face. If were fair, she actually smelled like beef stew, which must have been the dinner that was sent to her earlier that night. But it was inviting, somehow. It made her seem ordinary and attainable. It made Merlin slip up for the briefest moment…

"Then show me." He sighed into her.

At the same time their mouths clashed together. When Merlin tilted, Morgana matched him in the opposite direction. Their bodies slowly melded in and around one another. Their tongues clashed shyly even though they fed upon the fresh interest. Morgana knowing that she could trust him, and Merlin knowing that she was the same as him. Morgana's hands shakily found Merlin's waist and pushed him against her tighter than she dared. Then Merlin's began wandering across her neck and into her hair.

Just as Morgana was about to moan in pleasure there was a rattling and creaking immediately in front of her. It took Merlin a second to react but when he saw Morgana's shocked expression he realized that someone had just walked in on them kissing. He sort of side stepped and placed himself behind Morgana so that he could – erm – hide any physical proof of his arousal. The ward chuckled while the servant pinched her behind as repayment.

"Oh – my – _god_!" The shout sounded off so loudly that a pair of feet could be heard in the distance switch from a soft trailing to urgent running. Merlin watched as Arthur stepped in to shut the door and Gwen poked in at the last second.

"What's happened?" Gwen let out in one breath, "Are you okay m'lady?" Her panicked eyes bounced from one person to the next while Morgana's cheeked reddened and Merlin continued to hide behind her. Arthur was pacing and staring down his servant with his mouth wide opne.

"REALLY?" He growled, "MERLIN?" Gwen eventually caught her breath and calmed down enough to sort of piece together that Arthur had found Merlin in Morgana's room probably doing something he didn't approve of. When she looked to Morgana, though, she did find herself very curious as to _what _they had been doing.

"Arthur.." Morgana tried to speak but he raised his fist and pointed at her.

"He is a servant!" Morgana was not about to deal with that sort of talk, because she raised her own fist and shook her finger at him.

"Don't _you_ speak to _me_ about kissing servants, Pendragon!" She argued. Gwen's hand shot straight up to her mouth. Everyone knew that Gwen and Arthur had kissed once, but that almost meant nothing because Merlin and Gwen had also kissed once. Merlin and Gwen were also sure that Morgana and Arthur might have kissed once or twice, although that was under speculation because they really did fight quite often.

"This is different. You guys were having a right and proper snog! What if anyone else had come in and seen you? Merlin would be in the cells and you'd have my father marry you off so quickly you wouldn't have any idea what hit you!" Arthur declared. Gwen sucked his lips in and bit down on them. It was clear before she moved nearer to Merlin and Morgana that she completely disagreed.

"Now, Arthur, Morgana isn't a noble or royalty the same as you are. She is not bound under the same laws or restrictions. Honestly, she can be courted by any man that she so chooses…" The maiden ensured that she did not look at Arthur directly when she opposed him. Morgana turned herself towards Arthur and Gwen so that she could address them both.

Merlin slid his hand into hers almost out of instinct, but Morgana squeezed him in appreciation for his support. "This is entirely unnecessary. Gwen is right, you know. I don't have the same obligations that you do to Camelot so if Uther were to find out anything he would have no place to deny me that right to love whom I wish. And to be perfectly honest, Gwen, don't let Arthur turn you down. If anyone can change the rules in Camelot it's Arthur Pendragon."

"Oh, I don't know that Arthur can change _anything _on his own. I usually have to change his under - "

"MERLIN!" Arthur shouted. Both of the ladies chuckled at the comment. Merlin looked pointedly at Arthur and shook his head.

"It's okay if you're jealous. But I assure you there's plenty to go around. I still have to serve my obligations to you during the day." Merlin reminded him. Arthur was having none of it because he groaned loudly before leaving the room, eventually shouting behind him, "I EXPECT MY BREAKFAST ON TIME TOMORROW!"

Gwen apologized for the commotion before she left the room. Morgana in turned also apologized that she got mucked up in the little argument that Arthur had created, and also pointed out that it would have happened anyway because Gwen herself was headed back check on the draft. After they shared a friendly hug Morgana turned back to Merlin.

"There's something about you, Merlin. I can't put my finger on it but it's special." Morgana was glad to be rid of the extra company so that she could make her way back to Merlin. He was still very shocked about the whole event that had taken place, "I would apologize for kissing you but somehow I don't think that you very much minded."

Merlin felt Morgana's eyes trail down his body and then move back up at which point she cocked an eyebrow straight up. The young warlock felt very self-conscious but instead of wavering any further he rustled his hair with both hands and scrunched his nose up, "No, I don't reckon it bothered me too much."

The pair of them shared an awkward laugh for a moment. Both had thought for a second that bothered and _bothered_ were very different meanings of the same word. Morgana ease the tension when she leaned in and hugged him tight.

"I was being serious, Merlin. About the kiss _and_ about being born with magic." Morgana spoke lowly into the boy's neck, but his arms wrapped snuggly around her and he pressed his lips into her temple.

"Yeah, but one is harder to maneuver than the other." Merlin assured. Morgana pulled away just enough to look him in the eyes. He had just implied that having magic would be a lot easier than the complications of kissing him, and she'd known that by the way tried to read her reaction. Her heart swelled with adoration for the serving boy who was stealing pieces of her heart with each passing second.

Merlin could see what it meant to her to be more worried about a possible courtship between them than he was concern about her having magic. Besides, he'd all but confirmed that her suspicions were correct. And as a properly as he could have managed, her redirected her fear of magic to a joy for romance instead.

Minutes passed and they just looked at one another. Morgana's own mind found itself suddenly at ease as she really felt that she could enjoy something completely brand new with someone she was seeing in a brand new light. Merlin was happy to realize feelings for Morgana that he might not have pieced together otherwise. He kissed her cheek, "Sweat dreams, m'lady."

When Merlin left her room the King's ward found herself go to the door and watch him go down the hallway. Everything that had happened during that day was still strange to her. It felt surreal and yet she welcomed it for a change. She could not resist the happiness of it. When he rounded the corner Merlin turned back and caught her staring. Morgana waved nervously which he mimicked perfectly. When she did finally shut the door she couldn't help but chuckle to herself.

"Bottoms up," Morgana concluded when she found the draft that had started everything with Merlin. She threw her head back and gulped the liquid in one go. It had a very foul taste but she felt her body weaken after she swallowed. Whatever it was she could tell it was going to work well. She left the bottle at the table and crawled into bed where she had the most suggestible dreams about Merlin.

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><p>AN2: I wrote this in less than 48 hours with minimal editing. 60% of it was written on my phone. 35% was written on the computer and then 5% of it was rewritten when I uploaded the document on FFnet so... PLEASE R&R :) It will make my life happier (or if it's not a positive review it will make me better).

Thanks for taking the time to read. You're rad ;)


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